Monday, February 7, 2011

And the day came…

And the day came…

I always knew the exact clothing options I had for the zombie apocalypse. My closet was fully prepared… I thought I was, too.
Before I get into how fully unprepared I was, let me describe my fabulous, and if I do say so myself, functional, apocalypse outfit:

Shoes: Shoes are important. No one wants to be running around zombie filled streets in socks… or worse… barefoot. It’s bad enough my pedicure has not been updated in 2 weeks! The shoes I have are really boots. They've become one of my best friends. They are these perfect all black leather knee-high lace up flat hard-heel doc marten type bad gals. They kick ass. Granted they were not great for running, no arch, but I figured if I could run in 4in or higher stilettos I could handle anything. These allow me to fly through some rough areas and kick down, over or up anything in my way.

Pants: Cotton, black leggings. Enough said! Ok, ok… leggings are a bit of a fad. But in times like these, fuck it! They are comfortable, breathable, easily washed, and allow for flexibility.

Top: Now the top is really a masterpiece. I, thoughtfully, had always seen my apocalypse top as an assembly of practical yet stylish pieces. Let me break them down:

- Green cotton, with a little spandex, spaghetti-strap tank top.
- White cotton v-neck short sleeved t-shirt.
- Black cotton long-sleeve wrap cardigan, with hood and pockets.

Now I know you’re thinking: Wow, genius! If it’s hot, layers can come off. If it gets cold, layers come on. If you happen to get a little zombie goo on your shirt, you can take it off and not be topless. Not only genius, but fashion forward for these times.
Ok, I know there are those out there thinking, but Cray, what happened to the underneath… you know… well if you must, know it was a simple no line - cause really no one wants lines showing - cotton panties for the bottom. The girls are held comfortably in place by an underestimated and normally shunned sports bra.
There, you have the full picture I’d always had for the day at hand. And when that day came… I squealed a little because yes, yes, I could wear the outfit. Then it hit me: Fuck… the day came to wear this outfit…….

No comments:

Post a Comment