Only Girl in the World

(Music Blasting) (Base Booming)

Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…

Rupaul and 7:50 are having a fucking concert out there, Vouging and shit. Have no idea where Rupaul gets all these wigs from, he be switching up his clothes everyday now. By the way, lip gloss on zombie lips is not popping. 7:50 is oogling over it so I guess the expression “a man’s trash is another man’s treasure” or some poetic shit like that is true. I take no trash so I can’t relate. Had to control my immature impulses and stop myself from throwing water at their speakers. Was seconds away from do so but then they started playing “As Long As You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys. That song is the shit, will fulfill the prophecy many times while playing that song, fuck the haters J .

With the water bucket still in hand I see a little kid turning the corner, could be one of my neighbor’s bad ass kid’s miniature zombie gang member friends…. Fuckit if it is a little kid he needs to learn how to man up anyways living with zombies isn’t for bitch jive turkeys…….. yea fuck it sorry little man, you should have been the chosen one then maybe you could have been divinely rescued….. (Starts to run downstairs and then after the little kid.) Turn the corner and I see the kid turn into an ally, still haven’t seen his face. See 3 Zombies start to head towards the alley. Run towards them whip out the machetes, THWAK sucker machete’d the first one in the neck, head came right off. Swung at the second one, Head came off and did a Machete Clap on the last one……………… it was the first time I had killed anything……….. might have been the shock of it all but I could not move, just kept staring at the blood on my machetes. Then I hear a scream, I run through the alley and reach a main street. The kid was being chased by zombies, he jumps into a car and is quickly surrounded. Going to hate myself later but fuckit…..

“DADDY IS HERE YOU MOTHAFUKN ZOMBIES”

They Zombily Look Up and start running towards me

I look at the kid through the car window and politely scream

“IF I GET BITTEN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU. YOU LITTLE MOTHAFUKA, I SWEAR I WILL RETURN AS A GHOST AND HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.”

Started to run, had no plan in mind, despite my out of nowhere Bruce Lee moment earlier. I don’t know if could replicate that shit with this many zombies. What to do, what to do…. Can’t go to that no taste having, regular looking, no name giving, chubby joint’s house since I’m unsure if she is willing to drop that ladder again. Think think think (Kind of tough to do while running, movies downplay the shit out of this fact.) Run past my block, apparently these two lovebirds have “As long as you love me” on repeat, good song, honestly do not want to imagine them on their date though. Excellent inspiration for running some more actually J.

Ran by a wall that had a “I.B.G.” graffiti tag on it, fuck gang is that? J

I run into the supermarket and hide behind all the Goya Bean Cans. The zombies start walking in, pacing slowly, as if I was the monster hunting them. Since when are these mothafukas so careful… they split into the aisles. Everything is quiet, I feel like even thinking too loud will make a noise, keep still keep quiet.

“Hahahahahahahah”

Who the fuck is laughing?

“Hahahahahahahaha”

Zombies and I look outside, they let out a disappointed gasp. Kind of like the one you give when you are eagerly awaiting a text message from the illusive Miss Awesome and it’s the regular looking chubby joint you have no interest in.

The person laughing was Tia (Note- Tia in Spanish means aunt, this lady was definitely not my aunt. But she is one of those old drunk chilling in front of the grocery store drinking beer out of a foam cup lady that makes every little kid going into the store call her Tia.) Tia was not homeless but she seemed to always have the same clothes on. Don’t know why the zombies didn’t attack her. I’m assuming it’s because she looked like one of them already and they probably thought she was a zombie or they couldn’t hold their breath long enough to eat her. Either way, do your thing booboo, congrats on surviving. The chosen one can’t use that tactic, the beautiful women of this earth need me to be at the pillar of awesomeness, disguising myself as a zombie is a bitch-move.

Tia looks straight at me through the glass, raises her drunken finger, points right at me and yells “Boo!”

Taking cue from Tia the zombies head straight for my Goya Castle. I burst through it and throw a can at the window and jump out of it. Was too angry to run

“I’m going to trip the shit out of you and make you fall into a tub of water you stupid dirty old Bi..”

Angry Rant was interrupted by the sound of zombies chasing me, I start running (Tia’s laughter echoing behind me.)

Run into a projects building and start running up the stairs. Going up 22 flights gave me plenty of time to work off the frustration from Tia’s bitch move. Get to the roof and run, zombies right behind me and jump to the other projects building that was next to me. Land on my stomach, legs still dangling. Hit my jewels, hopefully these can still fulfill the prophecy. Zombies start trying to jump and fall in between the gap, I immaturely start to laugh and scream.

“Tell Tia I’m going to FUCK HER SHIT UP with soap all over my brass knuckles the next time I see her”

So exhausted I fell asleep right there on the roof…

Love,

Jay MF Ruez

How To Avoid Being Surrounded

The greatest strength these zombies have over us, besides their inability to feel anything, is their vast numbers. Since zombies are people, or should I say were people, and over 90% of New York’s population, and quite possibly the world, has been turned into zombies, they have massive numbers in their favor. They can surround you easily and this makes for a difficult situation. However, staying calm and remembering key points can keep you alive if you ever find yourself faced with a swarm of zombies.

1. Travel on High Ground:

The best way to move around the city, or any location, is covertly. These zombies can smell you, they have fairly decent night vision and they’re more difficult to navigate around than you would suspect. If you have to move around your location stick to roof tops, fire escapes and anything else that keeps you off street level. Traveling underground through tunnels and city subway systems usually seems like a good idea, but remember out on the roof tops you have day light to assist you. Underground, it’s always dark. Zombies can easily follow the echoes of your footsteps or the flashlights you will undoubtedly have to use to navigate the underground. Rooftops also provide excellent places to camp out. Zombies are not prone to going into buildings and inspecting. They are creatures of instinct and usually only chase what they can see. If you’re inside a building and they don’t see you, they can’t chase you. Rooftops and cutting through buildings are always your safest ways to travel.

2. Always Use the Middle

Most city streets are wide and have ample space. There’s no need to stick to the sidewalks and keep your back up against a building. If you’re walking around street level the best way to navigate is through back alleys and anywhere that will keep you hidden for as long as possible. However, if you must venture out into the wide open spaces then it’s safest to use the tactic of “The Middle.” This means plain and simple walk out in the middle of the street, or the center of whatever open area you’re in. If you’re in an open area zombies are without a doubt going to see you. There is no point pressing yourself up against a building and thinking it’s a good idea to cover your back when meanwhile all you did was eliminate one direction with which you can run away. Stay out in the middle of the streets. You can move quickly in any direction you need to and it makes it harder for a group to close in on you. If you’re up against a building all a group of zombies has to do is gather in front of you and then you’re screwed. If you’re in the middle of the street you have four directions to run, you can survey a larger area of space to get a better sense of where to move and you will most definitely be surrounded by abandoned vehicles giving the zombies obstacles to deal with to get to you. The vehicles also serve as a means to escape because you can always run across the tops of cars to give yourself more space.

3. Daylight is Your Friend

Unless absolutely necessary, travel at night is not a good idea. The power is out in most cities and there are no street lamps, signs or billboards to light your way. The only light you will have is your flashlight, which the zombies will see! Unless you’re equipped with stealth tactical gear and high powered night vision goggles, which you aren’t, then moving at night isn’t smart. You cripple your key sense with darkness and you create a blatantly obvious moving target for the zombies to chase. Moving during the day time may seem like a stupid idea but overall it is much easier to navigate. During the day you only have the zombies to deal with. (Ha, only zombies!) At night you have zombies and darkness. It just doesn’t seem wise to pick up the extra handicap.

Hopefully this information has made sense to you. More importantly, I hope this information will serve its purpose; keeping you alive.

Follow the Trail

Three days have passed since I last failed in my attempt to save my neighbor Darnell. This feeling of anger is starting to make me want to head out there and clean house just a little bit more. The thought of seeing this man die in front of me, and the idea that my family may or may not be out there, is officially weighing itself on my mind. I'm feeling the need to head out on the city and search for survivors before nightfall because I don't want to be alone anymore.


I had no intentions of wandering too far from home, because I'd like to keep close to my shelter while not being too far from Pippo for too long. I packed the car ('95 maroon Maxima) with my hockey stick, my 9mm with ammo and two clips, along with some Nature Valley granola bars. During the time I was preparing my car for our upcoming mission I was thinking of where to travel. This is the point where I decided I would take a ride just about ten minutes away in an area known as Pelham Bay in the Bronx. I had some friends there and thought this would potentially give me an opportunity to see if they were still around.


During this drive I couldn't help but start feeling nervous and anxious. It was a true case of mixed emotions after what I had just seen. I noticed a trail of dead bodies leading through Waters Place and onto Middletown Road, but that is where the trail ended. At this point one can't help but think somebody may just be alive to have cleaned out all these walking dead. Now I find myself on Middletown Road driving passed a 7-11 which is actually vacant (there's a shock) to the driver's eye. I had decided to continue on to Crosby Avenue and head towards my favorite Pizzeria, Louie and Ernie's, to see if it was still in operation (I was truly worried about never having a slice of heaven again). Well, my hopes there were crushed fast because it was as dead as Darnell and Mary.


It is around five o'clock now and I realize this is a good time to start heading back and I'll take the I95 home instead of the local routes. Upon heading towards the highway I can't help but notice a man, who looked to be no older than 26 running from the Pathmark with some supplies and a baseball bat. Immediately I realize that no way one of these zombies were out playing softball at the local league fields. I said out loud in a radioless car, "This has got to be someone living!". I made a quiet left without trying to draw much attention and started heading in his direction. I didn't get a close enough look at him, and I almost wish he noticed my car, but he didn't or I am certain he would realize these living dead wouldn't have the neural capacity to drive. By the time I head back towards Crosby Avenue, I had lost him completely.


"Oh Christ!", I had turned onto a dead-end block with three living dead directly behind me. I check my rear-view mirror and realize it is best to take the safety off of my 9mm and get ready to shoot anything that I miss. It is at this point that I think to myself maybe this mystery guy running around with a bat would hear my shots and feel some sense of comfort to hang on longer knowing he isn't alone in this world. Although he might not be alone anyway. I put my car in reverse and step on the gas knowing I can at least get one and push the other two back. Gun in my right hand with my arm around the passenger seat headrest and head looking back I do hit one just as I had hoped and the other two are pushed back. I know I can conserve my bullets and it would be the best option not to draw any extra attention to the area in which this mysterious guy disappeared to. I am certain he survived this long that if he crossed path with these two zombies he would clear them out as well.

It's time to head back home and see how Pippo handled his longest span without me. I, unlike Robert Frost, will take the road traveled to find this guy and hopefully more survivors.

The Girl in the Yellow Dress (2)

It had been three months since I found Stephanie on the roof of that Pathmark. Three months and we were surviving pretty damn well. It took us three trips to bring all of her belongings off of that roof and into my hide out. It’s funny even in the face of an apocalypse women were still concerned about their wardrobe. She had so many bags of clothing we almost didn’t have any space for it all. Don’t ask me how she managed to move all that crap up onto that roof. This girl was amazing, and in the three months we were together I was learning more and more every day how amazing she really was.

With the food I managed to scavenge from the supermarket on my weekly visits we were coming along pretty well. I never took Stephanie with me on my trips. She asked me more than a few times to come along, but I calmly explained to her “HELL NO!” I felt comfortable navigating my way alone, and I didn’t see the necessity in risking her life as well as mine. Besides, in the past three months she had grown on me quite a bit. That smile of hers which I woke up to every morning. The way she always put her hand up to her lips so gently when she laughed. The way her hair always had this shine to it even, though we were trapped all day in this muggy lifeless attic. We were safe up here, and I was damn sure going to be positive she stayed safe. She was the first woman in my life in a long time, and I was starting to fall for her, and fall hard.

My trips never took me more than one hour. She knew if I was gone more than an hour that something was wrong. But every week just like clockwork I was out and back again with time to spare. She never had reason to worry. Besides, the radios she carried with her, among the mess of clothes, allowed us to keep in contact while I was out. I’m glad she was smart enough never to contact me without me contacting her first. Last thing I needed was to be trudging through zombie infested streets and have a radio on my belt blurting out “Honey don’t forget the beans like you did last time!” and then I’m running for dear life. Bless her heart Stephanie really was a gift for me. I was climbing the roof the same way I had been doing for the past three months when my radio went off. No words came through; it was just the familiar static that comes when you press a walkie-talkie button once. Only the static continued, and didn’t fade away. Stephanie was holding the button down. I kept waiting for her to say something but she never did. I could hear this slushing sound as if someone was wading through deep mud. I tried to respond back to her, but of course her finger was still on the button so I couldn’t speak to her. I had to go back and see what the hell this was; this wasn’t normal behavior. I wasn’t happy about making it all the way to the rooftop and being forced to turn around, but something told me I should turn back. I could still hear the slushing noise and now there was a little something more to it. I couldn’t tell what the noise was, but I was already heading back to the attic to find out. I didn’t get a chance to walk very far before I was forced to stop. About 100 yards through the back parking lot that leads to the supermarket I spotted a group of 6 zombies all gathered around kneeling down. They were clearly feasting on something and I moved slowly forward to try to sneak my way around. As I moved closer to the group, the noises I heard through my radio became increasingly similar to what I could hear coming from the group. I lowered the volume on my radio so they wouldn’t hear me. And then my eyes saw it. Poking out through the kneeling legs of one of these creatures was Stephanie’s little hand clutching the radio. She followed me out. I can’t fucking believe she followed me out! I could see her body was ripped apart and there was blood staining her favorite yellow dress. It was the dress she was wearing when I found her. I always told her it made her look like she was wrapped in sunshine.

The noises I heard coming through my radio were the sounds of these things eating Stephanie. They ripped her apart and she was only a couple hundred feet behind me this entire time. How could I not have known she was following me? I lost every ounce of sense I had in me. In an instant, I was bounding towards this group of fiends that had taken from me the one ray of hope I had found in this wasteland of darkness. With my knife out I grabbed the first zombie by the back of his shirt, and drove my blade straight through the top of his skull. They were all so wrapped up in their fresh meat none of them saw or heard me coming. I kicked one zombie straight across the face as it looked up at me and I watched his head come clean off his body. The infection made them weaker, and their bodies were already heavily decayed. The last four stood up and came after me, but today I didn’t have the good sense to run. As one of them was getting up I punched it straight across the face. I watched its jaw dislodge as the body dropped to the floor in a lifeless heap of rotten flesh. It’s all pretty much a blur after that, but the next thing I remember I was kneeling by Stephanie’s body clutching her hand which still held the radio. I had clearly dispatched the last three zombies, but God knows I can’t tell you how. As I knelt there staring at her body which had been ripped open, she let out a cough. She was still alive! She was almost completely ripped to pieces and she was coughing up blood. I lifted her head and rested it on my knee. She kept trying to speak. “Sshhh, don’t speak. Just relax now.” She kept trying to say something. She used every last ounce of life she had to say what she had to say. Behind all the coughing and spitting up blood, I was able to make out one word…just one single word, “Pregnant.” I can’t believe it. My entire world fell apart, and came crashing down on me. I couldn’t say anything, but instead just took my knife and ended her pain before she could come back as one of these things. What was the world going to give me to end my pain now?

I said earlier that this world had lessons to teach us, and all of them were difficult. Now I learned that attachment, in this life, was only going to lead to pain. It was my fault she was dead. I talked her into coming down from that roof. She might have died on her own, but I wouldn’t have known, and I wouldn’t be kneeling over some mangled corpse right now. She wouldn’t have died in my arms, pregnant with our child. People always say you can’t dwell on the past, but it’s the past that constantly haunts us. If we ignore it, we never learn from it. Too bad this was one lesson I never wanted to learn.